


never knew it could feel like this

by neilwrites



Series: never knew it could feel like this [1]
Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: Alternate Universe - Roommates/Housemates, Explicit Sexual Content, First Time, M/M, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Porn With Plot, i can't decide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-21
Updated: 2020-06-21
Packaged: 2021-03-04 04:40:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,329
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24843967
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/neilwrites/pseuds/neilwrites
Summary: “If you’re really sure,” he starts, and Neil nods along. “I could do it.”“Uh,” Neil says, and suddenly his thin sweats and shirt feel far too hot. “What?”“If you want,” Andrew says, looking Neil straight in the eyes, determination burning Neil up inside. “I could help.”“You would—,” Neil says and Andrew doesn’t even wait for him to finish before nodding. “Why?”“You don’t want your first time to be with some frat boy. Trust me, you don’t,” Andrew says. “If you decide sex isn’t for you, you don’t want that to be your only experience. You need someone who’s good.”Neil swallows heavily. “And that’s… you?”
Relationships: Neil Josten/Andrew Minyard
Series: never knew it could feel like this [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1799245
Comments: 47
Kudos: 711





	never knew it could feel like this

**Author's Note:**

  * For [djhedy](https://archiveofourown.org/users/djhedy/gifts).



> virginity is a social construct, there's no perfect first time but this is fiction and i just think it's neat
> 
> shoutout to [drew](http://twitter.com/byminyard) for the quick proofread!

“So, Andrew, thoughts on having sex with strangers?”

Andrew, his roommate for the last two years, chokes on his cereal where he’s sitting on the couch.

“What,” he says after he’s recovered his breath. 

Neil pauses. “Are you having cereal for dinner?”

“Yes,” Andrew says, voice mildly scratchy. “Neil,  _ what _ ?”

Neil almost trips over the loose heels of his sweatpants as he makes his way over to the couch to join Andrew, pulling his knees to his chest.

He’s thought about this for a while, so it’s not hard to look determined now that he’s decided to go through with it.

“Sex,” Neil says, “with strangers.”

“I heard you.”

“Okay.” Neil bites his lip. “So? What’s it like?”

Andrew is quiet for a few seconds, then puts his cereal down. “I don’t— Why do you want to know?”

“I want to have sex,” Neil says, picking at his fingernails. 

“With a stranger,” Andrew confirms.

Neil pulls a face. “That’s easier, isn’t it? I just want to know what it’s like, what the big deal is. Then I can move on. I’m thinking I can just go out and find some guy, how hard can it be on a college campus?”

“You— Okay,” Andrew sighs through his nose. He shifts to face Neil. “You don’t strike me as the kind of guy to want to fuck a stranger.”

Neil shrugs. “It’s not about wanting a stranger. I just wanna experience it. Better to do it now during my college years, the  _ prime of my life _ , right?”

“I mean,” Andrew pulls a face. “I  _ guess _ , but you’ve seen the people around here, is that really who you want to sleep with? Some fuckboy who thinks he’s got a grade-A dick who’ll fuck you ‘til he comes, wipe his dick off on the sheets and leave you there?”

Neil shrugs again. He’s not going to be picky, it’s just something to get done.

“You’ve thought about this?”

He nods, he’s been thinking about it for a few weeks. He’s surprised Andrew hasn’t noticed his strange behavior sooner.

Andrew is silent for a while, and the atmosphere is on the brink of turning awkward when he speaks again.

“If you’re really sure,” he starts, and Neil nods along. “I could do it.”

“Uh,” Neil says, and suddenly his thin sweats and shirt feel far too hot. “What?”

“If you want,” Andrew says, looking Neil straight in the eyes, determination burning Neil up inside. “I could help.”

“You would—,” Neil says and Andrew doesn’t even wait for him to finish before nodding. “Why?”

“You don’t want your first time to be with some frat boy. Trust me, you don’t,” Andrew says. “If you decide sex isn’t for you, you don’t want that to be your only experience. You need someone who’s good.”

Neil swallows heavily. “And that’s… you?”

Andrew nods, so sure of himself Neil can’t help but be convinced too. 

The atmosphere in the apartment has switched dramatically, and Neil feels too hot, and nervous all of a sudden. It wouldn’t have mattered if it was just some guy. It means more now that it’s Andrew.

“Alright,” Neil says, his voice probably betraying his nerves. “So, how— I mean, when—”

“We could do it now,” Andrew says. “Or later, you decide.”

Right. Waiting would probably mean Neil would work himself up even more over this, and the whole point was that he was calm, he didn’t care. It was something to get over with. Now then.

“Now’s good,” and Andrew doesn’t hesitate to pull his shirt over his head, exposing his wide shoulders, his big biceps, his toned chest. Neil is staring.

He knows the armbands are a part of Andrew’s outfit no matter the time of day, but he can’t help but think they look even sexier when paired with nothing else. Andrew’s sweats are hanging far too low to be called decent, and his abs narrow into a v-shape above his waistband.

This is very unfair.

“Still sure?” Andrew asks, standing and looking down on Neil who hasn’t been able to move since Andrew offered to  _ fuck him, holy shit _ .

Neil’s throat clicks as he tries to swallow. “Yeah.”

Andrew reaches his hand out and pulls Neil up to stand. “Can I kiss you?”

Neil’s not completely sure he’s able to speak, in all honesty. He nods and hopes that’s good enough for Andrew, that he’d understand somehow.

Andrew cradles Neil’s jaw in the palm of his hand, and Neil is surprised at how soft it is. He has no other option than to look Andrew straight in the eyes, and he sees the question in them. He nods again, slightly more sure of himself.

If Neil thought Andrew’s hands were soft, his lips are something else entirely.

The sweet press of Andrew’s lips against his own calms him, takes him out of his head, and into Andrew’s capable arms. Andrew pulls back just enough so he can rub his thumb on Neil’s bottom lip, then pulls it down a little, leaving Neil panting. Neil pokes his tongue out to lick his lip and Andrew dives back in, making Neil moan into the unexpected move. He’s been holding his arms next to his body, too nervous to do anything else but Andrew reaches out and puts them on his shoulders, grounding Neil in the process. He links his hands behind Andrew’s neck and relaxes, kisses Andrew like he thinks he deserves to be kissed.

It’s probably the first time he felt aroused by anyone that wasn’t born out of pure necessity, and feeling Andrew lean closer, pushing his body against him, bringing Neil into contact with that wonderful expanse of muscle and skin has him hard in his sweats and unable to hide it.

Andrew nips at his lip, pushes their noses together gently, pushes his fingers through Neil’s unruly curls. “Let’s go to my room.”

Neil falls forward just a little when Andrew moves, and he doesn’t miss the pleased smirk on Andrew’s face.

“Do you want to keep your shirt on?” Andrew asks as he clears his bed of some stray clothes, probably the shirt he woke up in this morning. Neil has a sudden urge to grab it, smell it. Maybe steal it later to wear it.

Neil looks down at his shirt and hesitates. Andrew knows there are scars; he’s asked about them before, but he hasn’t seen them. Not all of them, at least.

“No, I—” Neil starts. He doesn’t know what to say, though, so he just takes the shirt off and curls into himself.

“Hey,” Andrew says, now standing right in front of him. Neil must have spaced out for a minute. “Can I touch you?”

Neil nods, entranced by Andrew’s hazel eyes and understanding. His hands land on his hips first, but quickly make their way upwards, gliding over Neil’s broken, puckered, scarred over skin as if it’s nothing, as if it’s normal, not ugly in any way.

Neil shivers when Andrew’s thumbs rub across his nipples, perking them up instantly, but Andrew keeps going until his hands reach Neil’s shoulders, and he pushes them back, making Neil stand up straight.

“Do you trust me?” Andrew asks.

“Always,” Neil says.

“You’re beautiful.”

Neil looks down, but Andrew’s hands grab the side of his face and make him look him in the eyes.

“I don’t lie.”

Neil releases a heavy breath. “Can we— I mean, can I— Can you kiss me again?”

Andrew indulges him, takes him apart one insecurity at a time just by embracing him, holding him close, kissing him and kissing him and kissing him.

After a while, Andrew’s hands curl around his lower back, then make their way down. The tips of his fingers dip into Neil’s sweats and Neil shakes forward.

“ _ Oh _ .”

“Mhm,” Andrew murmurs. “More?”

“ _ Yeah _ .”

His fingers dip down deeper until his hands slip under his waistband completely, going further and cupping Neil’s cheeks, squeezing them and pulling him closer, making Neil groan.

That also means he’s completely pulled against Andrew’s body, and he can feel his arousal right against his own.

Andrew moves his hands down more so his fingers come closer to Neil’s rim, making him huff out in surprise before Andrew slips his hands out completely.

“Get comfortable,” he instructs Neil, pulling him closer to the bed. As Neil struggles to look good while collapsing into an extremely bouncy mattress, Andrew drops his low-hanging black sweats, just slips them off his hips like the wind could have blown them down.

“Fuck,” Neil says, playing with the threadbare strings of his own pants. Andrew’s thighs are… Well, impressive. Thick. Sturdy. Neil wants to touch them.

Andrew joins him on the bed, crawling over him and stealing his breath. 

“Tell me if something is wrong, okay? Anytime you wanna stop, I’ll stop, you don’t even need to explain it.”

“Okay,” Neil says.

“Is there anything you like or don’t like?”

“I don’t know.”

“That’s okay, we can figure it out.”

Neil nods. “What about you?”

Andrew pauses. “What?”

“Anything you don’t like?”

Andrew just looks at him for a second, then reaches down and kisses him. “I’ll tell you. Keep your hands on my upper half for now, okay?”

At Neil’s agreement, Andrew shuffles back to kneel between Neil’s legs and starts undoing the knot, then gently peels the sweats and underwear down until Neil is lying there, naked, shaking just a little.

He rubs his hands over Neil’s thighs, over Neil’s hips, the fold between his legs and groin where Neil is so sensitive he shivers.

It’s nothing compared to the way he feels when Andrew licks the head of his cock, then pulls it into his mouth. Neil makes a sound and Andrew hums around him, looks up at him through the strand of hair that fell in front of his face, and keeps looking as he sinks his mouth further down, taking Neil in, engulfing him with heat.

Neil brings up a knee and drops it to the side, overwhelmed by the sense of Andrew’s warm, slick mouth around him, taking him down even more and swallowing around him before moving back up and off, a trail of spit connecting his mouth until he licks it off.

“Okay?”

Neil drops an arm across his forehead, nodding uncontrollably. “Yeah.” He gestures for Andrew to come back up and is swiftly kissed on his chin.

“I should—”

Andrew doesn’t let him finish. “You’re too tense. It’ll be better if you come first, it’ll relax you.”

“I don’t know what to do with myself,” Neil admits.

“Here,” Andrew says, and takes Neil’s hand, linking their fingers.

He moves back and takes Neil back into his mouth, precome having formed a small puddle in the hollow of Neil’s stomach.

Andrew’s fingers through his do ground him, even as Andrew’s taking him apart, bobbing his head and working Neil’s cock with his mouth. 

He squeezes Andrew’s hand tighter as he feels his release coming, warning him with a simple, nearly too-quiet, “ _ Andrew _ .”

Andrew has a hand on his hip holding him down as he comes undone, his thumb sliding over that groove at his groin, making Neil shake as he swallows and slowly comes back up.

Neil pants and looks up at the ceiling after he catches his breath, unsure when he even closed his eyes.

Andrew’s hand is still on his hip, he notices, still gently rubbing his thumb, grounding him in this moment. 

“C’mere,” he mutters and motions Andrew up, sliding a hand to the back of his neck and pulling him closer for a kiss.

“Neil,” he says, exasperated and warm. “I just—”

“Come here,” Neil repeats, begs with his eyes until Andrew indulges him, kisses him until his toes curl in pleasure and comfort.

“I take it you enjoyed that?” Andrew asks with a quirk to his lips when Neil releases him. Neil can’t help it when he reaches out and thumbs the corner of Andrew’s mouth, entranced by it.

“Mhm,” Neil confirms. 

Andrew nips at Neil’s finger before reaching over him to the bedside drawer, comes back with a tube of lube.

He sits back on his heels and asks, “Have you done this before?”

Neil is stuck staring at the tube in Andrew’s hand, then all of a sudden is transfixed by that hand, by those fingers. Those fingers are going to be inside of him. He thought he might be scared, but Neil is far too excited by the prospect.

“Neil,” Andrew says, probably repeating himself. He slides a hand up Neil’s thigh. “Have you touched yourself before?”

I— I tried, once or twice,” he admits. “I don’t think I did it right, though.”

“Why do you think that?”

“It didn’t really… do anything for me, I guess?”

Andrew smirks. “Then you didn’t do it right. Don’t worry, baby. I’ll show you how it should feel.”

Neil turns red at the pet name, but Andrew doesn’t seem embarrassed, doesn’t seem to have noticed he said it at all. The wild promise in his eyes is enough to give Neil shivers.

As gentle as Andrew is, the first touch at his rim startles him regardless, but Andrew doesn’t let up; he circles his finger around until Neil relaxes again. The intrusive feeling of that first finger is familiar, but as Andrew slides in further, he seems to know exactly how to touch Neil, how to make it feel nice. When he curls his finger up, he brushes against something that makes Neil moan unexpectedly.

“O-oh,” Neil says, “that’s—”

“I know,” Andrew says, and it sounds smug. He’d love to see his face, but he can’t seem to open his eyes right now.

The finger curls up again, does that thing again, and Neil’s leg twitches, kicks out. A second finger pushes at his rim, and it goes in far smoother than Neil would have thought. The pressure is there, but it’s not very uncomfortable, especially when Andrew pushes them both in more and then moves them apart.

After Andrew pushes in one more and nudges at that place again, making Neil so  _ very  _ aware he knows where Neil’s prostate is and can find it again and again, Neil kicks his side lazily.

“Stop teasing me,” he huffs out, wound up and ready for more.

Andrew lifts his body and Neil gladly takes the opportunity to stare.

“You think you’re ready?” Andrew asks, and it sounds like a challenge.

Neil looks at Andrew’s boxer briefs where the outline of his cock is clear, and Neil should know exactly what he’s in for. That doesn’t mean he won’t ask, “Show me.”

Andrew steps off the bed to peel his underwear off, and Neil almost regrets asking when he turns around.

“That’s not fair,” he blurts out. 

“What’s not fair?” Andrew asks with his eyebrow raised.

“You! I mean, all of— How can you just...look like that?” Neil flaps his arms unhelpfully.

Andrew crawls back on the bed, right until he’s hovering over Neil, his elbows next to Neil’s face. And Neil doesn’t feel vulnerable, doesn’t feel caged in, but more like he’s safe. Like Andrew has him, would never let anything bad happen to him. He brings his hand to the back of Andrew’s neck to pull him closer, breathes for a second as he studies the flecks of gold in whatever’s left of Andrew’s irises. Then he kisses him, opens up for Andrew to make his way in, to push his tongue against Neil’s own and claim him the way Neil wants to be claimed, be his.

Andrew maneuvers Neil’s legs around his waist and takes advantage of the distraction, the diversion he’s creating in Neil’s head by pushing in, punching a gasp out of Neil that he breathes right into Andrew’s mouth.

Andrew stops moving, and Neil realizes he’s waiting for his cue, so he pulls Andrew’s hair, urges him to continue as he opens back up for him.

When Andrew’s hips hit the back of Neil’s thighs for the first time, after he bottoms out, Neil links his fingers with Andrew’s again.

Andrew checks in with him,  _ again _ , and Neil feels warm and full, and nods, whispers, “Yeah.”

At first, it’s gentle, slow, and while it’s nice to get used to the size of Andrew’s cock inside of him, it’s not doing a lot for Neil yet.

He bites his lip and wonders if he should say anything, if it’s too soon to ask for more, but Andrew can read him, he always can.

“More, baby?”

Oh god, that’s gonna be a thing for Neil now, he just knows it. He’s sure his face turns bright red but he nods quickly, and Andrew shifts back so far he almost slips out, then thrusts forwards so hard it punches a groan out of Neil, and that’s exactly what he didn’t know he needed.

“Fuck,” he moans, squeezes Andrew’s hand tighter. “Do that again.”

Andrew’s picking up on what Neil likes faster than he is, because he shifts Neil’s legs higher, makes him hold on tighter before he punches back in, and does it again, seems to be fueled by the hitches in Neil’s breath.

Andrew shuffles closer so he can sit up more, his knees folded under Neil’s thighs, and he links his hands behind Neil’s neck, making Neil look up at him.

Neil can’t describe the look on Andrew’s face. It’s hunger, and lust, and care. He wonders what his own face is revealing to Andrew, if his feelings are plain to see. And if so, what would they be? There’s no making sense of this right now.

Not when Andrew forces his gaze upwards as he pushes in, checks Neil’s reaction, does it again but faster. 

Neil feels weightless, feels like he’s not in this body that’s being pushed up the mattress by the force of Andrew’s hammering thrusts, feels like nothing he’s ever felt before.

His breath comes out in wheezes, in moans, high-pitched little screams he didn’t know his body was capable of. He holds on to Andrew’s forearms because they’re right there, and they’re firm and grounding, and he can’t stop looking at Andrew, he simply can’t look away as Andrew is undoing him.

Andrew slows down but keeps up the intensity of the thrusts until eventually he pushes in one final time, uses his hands on Neil’s neck to keep him close, keep them linked as he comes. Neil can’t look away from Andrew’s face as he does; something he thought would look ridiculous looks like bliss on Andrew’s face.

He’s only pulled out of his thoughts when Andrew’s hand wraps around his cock which Neil had dutifully been ignoring, too wrapped in Andrew taking care of him.

It doesn’t take long for Neil to come all over his own stomach with a groan, not with Andrew’s capable hands around him, not with Andrew still inside him while Neil twitches around him.

Neil winces when Andrew pulls out and there’s this empty feeling, something final about it.

Andrew must have grabbed some wipes when he wasn’t looking, and he cleans himself and Neil up. Neil almost expects him to leave and breathes a sigh of relief when Andrew drops his body right next to Neil’s on the mattress.

All they do is breathe, for a while.

Neil takes note of some cramps he might feel more tomorrow, but they feel nice.

“So,” he finds himself saying, and sees Andrew from the corner of his eye looking at the ceiling. “Is it always like this?”

It’s more revealing than Neil had intended, and he fears Andrew can read right into that. The fear only grows when Andrew doesn’t reply for a while.

Neil looks to the side, throws an arm across his own body to feel more secure somehow. Andrew blinks at the ceiling, swallows thickly.

“No,” he finally says. “It isn’t always like this.”

Oh.

**Author's Note:**

> (:
> 
> feel free to yell at me here or on [twitter](http://twitter.com/neilmoony)


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